Blood Stains These Hands
by AuroraVBorealis
Summary: The blood of a thousand men stains her hands, she has no parents, no last name, no life outside the barren walls of the deatheater headquarters. She lives to kill. What happens when she is sent on a mission for imformation... but finds love instead?
1. Chapter One

The rain drummed against your window, washing away all that was bad. There could be nothing to see from miles, and lest someone came this way by mistake, nothing should go amiss. Streaks of red ran through the gravel in the road, off into the ditch. It could have been perceived as the clay from the dirt that was so rich here, but to the trained eye it was obviously something much different, much more sinister.

_Venir mauvais las enfants de le lumiere_

You sang to yourself as you watched the lightning in the distance strike horizontally across the grey and pink horizon. The rain was the one thing sure to distort any image, even when you were staring right at it. With everyone in this world drowning in their own naivety, insisting that nothing truely terrible could happen, especially to themselves, most things on this earth were already distorted, even without the rain to wash away even the largest of sins.

_Dans a royaume de enchantement_

The red stream was meshing with the water now, the heavy torrents of rain were going every which way and the trees were blowing. Unfortunately that was all you could see, but that was what you were used to. Memory is a curious thing, you thought to youself, some things were just blown away just like the leaves on the trees. Some, however stuck with you like a bad disease.

_Venir Mauvais las enfants de le lumiere, le temps de venir de jouer_

This house had been like a prison to you, night and day, never leaving except for the worst of times; times you would give your soul to forget, but also times that you lived for. The rain continued to splash against your window and to your dismal pleasure, the red in the road was gone now, the rain was too heavy for it have not to. They conducted this quite well, always watching for weather patterns before striking, or perhaps causing the weather to change to their liking and then waiting until the moon was gone so there would not be too much light but just enough, especially with the lightning. They knew that the lightning could cause people to see things, flashes of things that were not there in reality.

_Ici dans mes jardin de magie noire._

You stoped singing, it sounded too macabre and eerie, even coming from your own voice, you didnt even speak greek, but you remembered it from when you were a child. It didn't seem so sinister then... did it? Or could you merely not remember... The rain continued to stream down the window, refusing to die down. You got up from the windowsill and laid on your bed staring at the ceiling and tried not to think. Not to remember, but more importantly not to forget.

It had been earlier that you had gotten the letter. Another letter actually, the same writing, the same style, the same concept. Another job. Why couldn't anyone else do it? Why did they have to burden you like this? On the other hand, you loved the adrenalin rush, the feeling of being outside of this retched house for at least a few hours even if you were just waiting...watching. '_He could have done it himself, all he does is give out lousy orders, for once he should get out here and take care of it himself_' you thought shivering once you were outside. A lightening bolt struck down some twenty feet away. "Fine fine.. I'm going, bastard." You muttered to noone but yourself. You seemed to do that a lot, being couped up in your room for so long having noone but the mice to talk to unless you were in a meeting, or on a mission. You walked for a couple minutes, out into the middle of the road and laid down and waited. If the wrong person should come upon this they might think you were crazy but you knew noone else would be coming this far out into the middle of nowhere, not unless they had a reason. The rain was pouring heavily, just as it would be hours from then. You waited. After a few minutes you heard the familiar popping sound of someone apparating near by. You took out your wand, as slowly as possible, just like you were trained from birth.

_"Ouvrir Lacerer"_ you whispered as quietly as you could. A long pencil thick slash appeared on your leg and you began bleeding immensly. You were used the pain, it numbed you. You hated it, you loved it, the kind of pain you loved to hate and hated to love. You stashed your wand back in the pocket of your jeans and slowly started whimpering, your voice starting to get louder so the 'intruder' could hear you more clearly. People were all the same, so easily manipulated. So easily controlled. Someone had tought you that once, and it stuck, mostly like the bubonic plague stuck with Europe over the centuries.

"Who's there?" the person that had apparated whispered through the rain; if you hadnt been waiting for their voice to come, you would have never heard it.

"Help me... please... anyone" You said in a voice a little over a whisper, authentically. You doubted even someone as in distress as you were pretending to be could have done a better job. It was natural though, as demented as it sounded.

"What happened dear?" The man asked you, when he spotted you lying in the middle of the road. "Who did this to you!"

"Oooo .. cloaks... black.. ahhh..." You moaned, feigning dizziness, from lack of blood.

"Can you stand on one leg? We can help you get into the house dear, is anyone home? Wouldnt they have seen you out here?"

"You know..." You whispered to the man violently "You really should try not to be so trusting, even of a 'little girl'" You said these last words slowly, putting all your weight on your 'hurt' leg and turning around to look at them full in the face. "Where do you're loyalties lay?" you asked brushing yourself off unnecessarily.

"What are you talking about? I..I don't understand." The man asked slowly, questioningly. You cut to the chase, you were ever one for such trivial questions.

"Will you join the Dark Lord or will you suffer the consequences. So much power could be given to you in the blink of an eye! Everything you could ever dream of could be yours! Or would you rather watch your family die.. right.. before.. your.. very.. eyes?" You took a step towards him after every word. Lightening struck somewhere near by, but you knew better than to break eye contact. It was all about control.

"Who are you!" The man asked foolishly, stepping backwards "I will not join He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named! Never!"

"So you have decided to watch your family die? Your wife, Karen? Little Billy?" You asked him viciously, not blinking. Never lose eye contact. Ever.

"I... I can't.. I.. No! Don't kill them! Kill me instead! Let them live!" He pleaded. How foolish it looked to see a grown man cowering before a 17 year old girl, barely legal to live on her own. The power the Dark Lord had truely given you. He was cruel, yes, but for his loyal followers, his generosity could rarely be matched. You pulled out your wand. "Silencio!" You shouted towards the man to stop his mindless, incoherant babbling. When it came down for it, no mans pride could resist.

"Listen to me, swine, noone will have to die, all you have to do is join us! Think of all the possibilities!" You were too manipulative for someone your age. Too manipulative for anyone really. "Saigemente" you muttered. The bleeding on your leg immediately stopped. "Now what is your choice, I'm giving you this last chance, a chance you do NOT deserve. Which is it? Join or you and your filthy family dies!" You shouted at the man. "Finite Incantatum" you said. The man's silencing curse was lifted immediately. This was taking far too long, you'd give him 3 more seconds.

"Fine! I'll join you! Just please, don't hurt my family! Please!" he pleaded, hiccoughing slightly.

"You are either very wise or very foolish. Take this and you will be transported somewhere. I will not tell you where, just do as I say." You handed him a small pendant with a serpant on it. Ah a portkey, what lowlevel magic the Darklord was using. You supposed it worked though. Whimpering, the man took hold of it and was immediately sucked away into oblivion. Another soul saved. Or damned. Whichever came first.

You couldnt, no, didn't want to think anymore. It wasn't like you were scarred by this anymore. Afterall, this was just another episode that had left you mentally drained. You didn't look forward to getting out, but you didn't want to stay in this house either. All you were looking foward to now was the prospect of food. Oh it was so close to dinner you could almost taste the meat on your tongue. But you had to wait, noone ate before 'Him'. Mustn't be hasty, you didn't need anymore blood lost tonight. You laid back on the bed and twirled your wand in between your fingers. This was the first time you had looked at your hands since the 'incident' earier that day. Even though being out in the rain had washed away most of the blood that was caked on them from holding your "injured" leg, some had managed to cling on and now it was cracking and turning dark brown, clogging up under your fingernails. "Scourgify" you whispered and they were immaculent once more. This was starting to get boring. When was dinner going to be here. You had a right mind to barge into the dining room if you knew that certain death didnt await you. You would wait like a good girl until it was your turn. After all, you would be getting praised for getting another follower and you didn't want to ruin it because your stomach was getting angry at you for lack of food. Sometimes you swore it had a mind of its own. Finally after another quarter of an hour, a small house elf bustled into your room, cowering and bowing its head to the floor so its nose nearly scraped the dark mohogany wood.

"Master told Betty to fetch Miss Raine, he says its times for dinner Miss." The elf said, bowing again before backing out of the room leaving the door open for you._ 'Finally' _you thought to yourself as you made your way out of your room, stashing your wand in your pocket once again, and heading towards the dining room where a million wonderful smells filled your nose.


	2. Chapter Two

--

The portraits on the walls glared at you, regal looking fiends and then slightly smaller pictures of their spouses, eyes gleaming maliciously, taking in your every move, but nearly never speaking. Especially not to you. The only time they did 'grace you with their words' was to hiss at you or call insults. "You are not fit to be connected to the Dark Lord!" or "You are filthy and you dont deserve the things you have been given!" You never even knew who the people in the portraits were. Well, the only thing you did know about them were their names and their "dates". For instance,

br Br i Charles Xavior Nott III, Duke of Parlor 1862-1919 /i . br Br 

Most things in this house were older than time itself. You tiptoed lightly into the dining hall where a few people sat waiting, just waiting. A man was seated at the end of the long table; well, more of a shadow of a man. You did not announce your arrival, but merely took a seat between two people who were bowing their heads. Not moving, barely breathing it seemed. You and them, were all used to it. It was a rule, and around here you could not eat until he did. If you did, you bled. Continuously. Even at your young age, you knew more pain than most people would in their entire life. They could not even fathom. br Br 

You sat there waiting.. watching the house elves feed i him /i . Just looking at him you would think of a porceline doll. No, just kidding. Although he seemed just as breakable. He could now eat most foods, and he could do it by himself too but what was the point in doing everything by yourself when you could get other people, followers if you will, to do it for you? The thought was perposterous. Even though he looked strange sitting there.. being fed like an infant, a pang of jealousy overcame you. You wanted followers.. people that could follow after you, fearing when you spoke, fearing the silence around you, your eyes penetrating into their souls. Or lack there of. br Br 

You figetted with your hands under the table and unbeknownst to you, you started humming. Ever so quietly that you didnt even notice; the same song as before, but lacking the words. Whilst you stared down at the white tablecloth covering the table a pair of red eyes watched you. You could feel their penetrating glare in the side of your head, searching, probing. ' I Oh please, I wasnt trained for nothing you idiot /i ' you thought in your mind. The presence immediately left but you could still feel the eyes, now with an aura of anger around them.. still watching. Then he spoke, this did not surprise you. br Br 

"Do you think it is wise to say things like that to me you stupid girl?" came the highpitched, cold as ice voice from the far end of the table. The voice sounded more like a snake than a human... and maybe it was. It seemed slightly funny to you that noone in the room had even the faintest idea of what he was talking about, seeing as though you merely thought it, not spoke it aloud. br Br 

"Wise isn't exactly the word I would use.. i sir... /i " You said the last word disdainfully. He had no rule over you. He wasnt your father... persay. br Br 

"I thought as much. Don't say such foolish things in the future Raine or you'll be cut in two before you can say blood." He spat out venomously. There was collective shudder from all around the room though none dared speak. br Br 

"Well maybe you should stop trying to break into my mind when Im just sitting here doing nothing" you mumbled to yourself. Unfortuntatly there are no whispers that go unheard here. br Br 

"Are you familiar with the unforgiveable curses? Because I would gladly have Lucius let you in on the little secret" he said harshly nodding his hooded head towards a man whom did not move save a slight nod to say that he had heard and understood what the Dark Lord was implying.

"Am I familiar with them!" Your voice was getting steadily louder; you were never one to be able to control your little outbursts. "The hell do you think you are? Are you stupid? Of course I'm familiar with them, hell I know them better than I knew my father!" you spat out, standing up. Suddenly you felt very foolish. The few heads situated around the table had started to look up, some with appalled looks on their face, other with grim amusment. Some looked extremely frightened... which they very well should be. You knew you had stepped over the line on that one. Noone.. NOONE mentions your father, or any of your 'family' without getting into some serious... issues. br Br 

"DO NOT talk about that! I am your father now and you should be glad to have such a figure! Do you realize people here would have their heads handed to me to merely have the thought of such a thing! How dare you have the guts to stand there and denounce me! Lucius, if you would please, room 11 is free, take her out of my sight before I kill everyone one of you lowlifes." Oh he was mad. Madder than the madhatter. You had seen him mad of course, most of the time it involved precious Potter and his little friends. You didn't know Potter but the hell with liking him. You HATED him, all he ever resulted in was pissing off the Dark Lord and who was paying for it? You! br Br 

You stood there like a deer caught in headlights as you watched Lucius make his way around the table and grab your wrist roughly, sending a clear view of the dark mark on his left arm. He could be so tactless sometimes, the Dark Lord that is. Why would you mark, nay brand your followers for the world to see? Most of the time it only resulted in getting them caught and put in Azkaban or worse yet, killed. Lucius dragged you out of the dining room, not saying a word, through a hallway, turned right, then left, until you came upon a red door with the number 11 on it. It reminded you of those hotel rooms, all you needed now was house keeping... where was Betty anyways? Meanwhile, this was probably not the best time to be wondering where that God-forsaken house elf was. Lucius threw you roughly into the room in front of him before waltzing in himself, shutting the door and muttering a locking spell. This was not going to be pretty. br Br 

"How dare you insult the Dark Lord! Have you a burning passion to die prematurely? Or are you just extremely tactless!" Ironic, and here you were thinking he was the one that was tactless. br Br 

"I have neither the burning passion to die, nor am I tactless. I do, however, have an opinion of my own which is far more than I can say for you Lucius. The day you have a real thought of your own that wasnt put into your empty head by my poor excuse of a fatherly figure is the day I make friends with all the houseelves and join the circus. Although, with that hair of yours, you could fit in quite well, I could get you half off if you -" br Br 

Smack. Right across the face. A burning handprint was etched into your right cheek, it was growing hott and tingling but you didnt show any pain or fear. br Br 

"As I was saying you could get half off, or you could join as a clown! All we need to get you is a nice big red nose! It'll be-" br Br 

"Are you some kind of Masochist you dumb bitch?" He roared, brandishing his wand out in front of him now like a whip. br Br 

"No, i Sir /i . I don't enjoy pain, but you see, this has nothing to do with pain because I have felt no pain in this room. You are aware that you hit like a woman? A dying woman, in fact." You grinned like a madwoman. This was definately not what you had in mind when you came in here. Temper, temper. br Br 

"Oh, may you rot in hell blood traitor!" And with those lovely parting words you heard him mutter something and a flash of purplish light issued from his wands striking you fully on the chest before you had a chance to respond. A thousand hot burning knives were piercing every inch of your flesh. You would think after having this done to you so many times, the effect would begin to wear off, but it never seemed to get any less horrendous. Although the pain was still as real as ever, you could now begin to throw off the effects sooner, if you concentrated, which was easier said than done. Before you could pull yourself together you felt yourself drop down to the ground in a lump. Straining you got up and promptly spit on his new shoes. br Br 

"Bastard!" You laughed, sounding slightly hysterical. br Br 

"You stupid bitch!" And the pain returned, slicing you open, coming back in full force, and then some. White hott pain came from every crevice on your body. Oh how you wished it would end! Please, let it end! br Br 

After a few more minutes, which really seemed like hours, of Lucius' merciless spell, it ended, just as abruptly as it started. This caused you to come crashing down, once again onto the cold stone floor, you were shaking violently and tears were wet and fresh on your face. You looked up to see Lucius' pale complextion. Pasty, one would usually call it. His face distorted into a sneer, one that you were all to familiar with, and all too sick of. Someone should really smack the smirk off his flawless face. br Br 

"Another lesson brought to you by Lucius Malfoy. This will teach you to speak before you act Raine. Remember that. " And then he kicked you. Full in the stomach, knocking the wind out of you and preventing you from saying anything more. Not that you couldve anyway. You could barely breathe and you were shaking madly. After a few moments you heard shuffling feet coming from behind you, no doubt the small pattering of houseelf feet. Everything was growing dim and it was getting harder to keep a concious thought in your mind other than pain. Nerve-slicing pain. Slowly but surely everything went black, sending you crashing into the cold world of unconciousness. Far away from the reality you were forced to live. br Br 

You awoke the next day feeling horrid, not that that was different from usual. This time, however, it was due to the aching you felt in your stomach and in your ribcage, as well as the throbbing right side of your face. It took a few minutes before you could think of what exactly happened last night. You never got to eat lunch because you were off on a 'job' and dinner definately didn't come because you were busy getting the hell beat out of you by that stupid piece of pureblood trash. You pulled yourself slowly out of bed, wincing at the pain in your ribs and walked over to the floor length mirror that hung loosely on your wall. You were a mess. You had a swollen eye that was half shut and your cheek was puffed out more than usual and they were both turning a purpleish black color.. even with a slight green tint to it. Disgusting. You lifted up your shirt enough to get a glimpse of what damage had been done when he kicked you so ruthlessly in the stomach the night before. Same effect, bruises were sprouting everywhere. You pressed down lightly on the bottommost rib, checking for breaks. None seemed there... but who knew. You were certainly no doctor... however you had been through this enough to know that you were probably right in thinking there were no breaks. br Br 

You let your shirt fall back down and jumped back in bed. Hopefully they'd forget you exsisted and leave you to rot in this hell hole. Better than being out there anyway... but only slightly. Another hour passed and you were just on the verge of falling back asleep when Betty came trolloping in, looking meek and sporting a huge welt on the top of her lopsided head. Obviously 'someone' had gotten a little angry, again, last night. You couldnt help but feel a little responsible for her injury, seeing as though it was probably you who put him in such a horrible mood. Then again he might have just done it for fun. Who knew... who cared. br Br 

"Miss Raine, it is time for a bath, master said he wishes to talk to you when you are ready miss. Your clothes are ready in the bathroom and your toothbrush is in there as well. Good day miss." She curtsied and scurried away, probably hoping not to be around another human at that particular moment in fear of getting hit like last night. Grudgingly, you walked towards the bathroom at the far end of the hall and turned the water as hot as it would go, hoping that maybe all of your bruises were merely makeup. Alas they werent. When you got out of the shower you chanced a glace in the mirror above the sink. Sadly, nothing had changed. You got ready and brushed your teeth and hair, pulling it back into a ponytail and then taking it out again, hoping that if you left it down, your hair would hide some of the bruises on your face. When you were completely dressed and ready, you walked slowly to 'his' room. What he could possibly want, couldn't be good.

--------

You approached his room, a silver door with a serpent like door handly on it. You knocked lightly, but with his insane snake hearing or whatnot, he heard you. You wouldnt be surprised if he had stuck his tounge out and sensed you outside his door, ragged breathing and all.

"Come in" You heard the cold voice through the door. You didn't anounce yourself but instead reached for the silver serpent handle that gleamed with the torches that were lit on the surrounding walls. The snake hissed and its ruby jeweled eyes twinkled dangerously but it did not move, the door merely creaked open, revealing a dim room lit with only candles and more torches. A fire roared on the far side of the room and cast an eerie glow on the rest of the room. i God, why was he so creepy, he really needed to get out more and stop being so antisocial. /i 

You caught your reflection in a mirror that was sitting in the corner of the room by a particularly thorny plant that appeared to be dead... but of course that suited the rest of the interior. It was still gruesome, your face that is, plus, with the lighting in the room casting strange shadows that played across your face, you appeared to be in worse condition than earlier this morning.

"Arent you looking splendid this morning" the cold voice drawled from behind the desk. You noticed a serpent at least 15 feet long was coiled on the hearth rug by the fire like some sort of sick impression of a dog. Mans best friend? I think not. You didn't like that snake, never had, never will.

"Oh yes, I wonder what could've happened to me.. I suppose I must have slipped.. oh no wait, you ordered the little Albino to beat the hell out of me again!"

"It's for your own good, you do not backtalk me, or talk without being spoken to, and you do not, DO NOT denounce me, especially in front of all the deatheaters. Now, as to why I called you here..."

"What is it now.." He went on as though you never interuppted him.

"Seeing as though Lucius is now on the run from the Ministry, and I have several of the others in Bangkok doing business for me there with Ahlbed Bashiren and the feudal banking systems, I'm running out of options to go get me some things that I am in desperate need of at the present time. You however, seem to be supremely well at doing nothing, and I think it is about time you got out and started pulling your weight around here."

"I wonder why I sit around doing nothing all day, maybe its because I basically dont exist? You know the only people that know I'm even alive are you and the other death eaters! I havent been off this property besides having to go get people to join you or slaughtering them... since I was...-"

"Silence!" You hesitated.

"Psh..Fine.What do you want to me to do, oh i parental figure /i ?

"Cut the sarcasm Raine or you'll find yourself in worse condition than you are now. If not dead, seeing as though you so kindly pointed out to me, no one knows you exsist, therefore your death will not be an issue. Do you understand me?"

"...Yes, i sir /i ."

"Good, now that we have an understanding, on with your mission."

"Oh no, not again, I just got another one to join Yesterday! I dont need to wash more blood off my clothes, I'm getting sick of...-"

"No, not another one of those missions, this time it will be much more simple. All you'll be doing is taking a portkey to an abandoned warehouse in Hungary, then you'll use a fireplace there to floo to a place in southern France by the name of "Le Creuset". Here you will speak to a doorman, the only doorman that will be wearing a red diamond around his neck. He will say "Un serpent dans l'herbe vaut la peine deux dans le buisson" Which is basically talking about a snake in the grass. I dont know, hes an idiot. Anyways, you will say "Yes but the bigger serpent is well off." This is the password. He will lead you to a back room where you will floo to London, Hogsmeade station. I'm sure you've read about it in those stupid books you read. It is the only all wizarding village in Brittain. Here I need you to pick me up some things.

"Okay, what's with me having to travel all over hell's half-acre, just to wind up in one town...When I could just floo there. Or take a portkey.. or.."

"Do not be incompetent Raine, you know very well that if you apparate, which you cant, mostly because you're still underage, and portkeys could be traced. Also, people watch the floo network like hawks, so you will have to take a few detours before you can safely arrive at your destination, undetected. Am I clear?"

"Crystal. So what is it you want me to get anyways...?" You asked him clamping and unclamping your hands into fists at your sides. Nervous habit.

"I need you to take this key" he said, pulling a very old looking brass key fron his robe pocket and putting it on the desk "And go to Gringotts bank. Get one of the disgusting creatures to take you to vault '4910' and take out ten thousand galleons. Use this bag, so each will only weigh a fraction of an ounce. Otherwise, well you'll never get back. Nextly, I want you to travel down to Knockturn Alley where I need you to purchase two of everything on this list." He handed you a battered peice of parchment that looked as though it had went through five world wars, and still managed to survive.

"That's it? So I dont have to tell anyone my name do I.. because that would sort of ruin the..."

"No you dont, the foul creatures at Gringotts pay no mind as long as you have a key, and the people in Knockturn alley are... all mostly acquaintences as you'll find out."

"Fine, well when do I leave. Dont you think I should leave when all this heals up because that will at least ensure me avoiding confrontation and strange questions as to why I look like I've just been ran over by a hippogriff." You told him gesturing to your mauled face.

"Yes, I thought as much. I beleive a week will be suitable for your injuries to heal completely, I dont suppose there were any breaks were there?" It looked as though he tried to sound slightly sympathetic but he ended up sounding hopeful.

"No, no breaks. And I'm sure a week will be fine, I'm going to go back to bed now, if you dont mind. "

"No, I do mind as a matter of fact. I need you to go somwhere for me today. There is a man that should be coming shortly, just as the other one did yesterday evening during the storm. I need you to do exactly as you did then. And again, if he refuses, kill him. And make it painful, just try not to be so messy like you were that time in .."

"Yea, yea. Whatever. When's he coming?"

"Six, and if he's late you can kill him then too. I dont need people that arent where they're supposed to be on time. Now leave me, I need to find Wormtail so he'll milk Nagini, she's getting a little hostile." You nodded your head. Even though you were off to get someone to join or kill them again, the second time in two days that is, you still felt a little exhilerated. You were finally going somewhere where you wouldnt have to see blood or a decapitated head or stupid overgrown albino's that beat people to a pulp. Score. In fact, you were sure he probably wouldnt notice a little bit of his money missing.. maybe you would go buy something for yourself. After all, this oppurtunity didn't come along a lot.. or ever actually.

You let yourself out of the door and went to go find something to preoccupy yourself with until 6, where you would carry out your wonderful duties and be allowed to live another day.


	3. Chapter Three

A week later you woke up and looked around confused. You were always a little out of it when you first woke up.. not because of nightterrors or anything, you could easily block those out ever since your retched training took place, but because you rarely slept well just because you were always restless and kicking in your sleep. One time Betty came in to put a warmer under your pillow in the middle of the night but you accidentally kicked her in her lopsided face and knocked her out cold. You laughed for 20 minutes straight.

Groggily you got up and traipsed your way to the bathroom and took a shower. You went back to your room and got dressed and chanced a glance in the mirror. Luckily all the bruises and marks on your face were healed. A couple on your stomach and ribs still hurt a little when you turned the wrong way but those wouldnt be noticable anyways. You got completely ready and went out to the dining table expecting to see 'him' there but nobody but Betty, who was hovering in a corner, was present. You inwardly sighed and let out a breath. It was so much more comforting being alone and away from all of ... i them /i . Some you enjoyed talking to sure, because they had most of the same values that you held so dear, but some of them were just plain incompetant and you found it hard to beleive that "The Dark Lord" would choose to be associated with such dimwits.

Take the Crabbe's and Goyle's. Not only are the parents morons, but they definately bred rocks, not humans, because they were obviously not capable of rational thought. Then there was the Malfoys.. Lucius, well you already knew about him. Narcissa, never talked, but merely did everything Lucius or the Dark Lord told her to do, whilst looking prim and proper. However, she always had that look on her face like she just walked through a garbage dump rather than sitting at the Dark Lords fine dining table. Maybe she was born like that... hmm. The son, Draco, hadn't been accepted into being a full fledged death eater yet, he was still in training or something. Your guess was that he was going to be too chicken to actually go through with getting the Dark Mark branded into his skin like people brand cattle. Which is basically what he was doing... somehow it seemed ironic to think that tagged cattle only end up in the slaughter house but you pushed this thought to the back of your mind as you approached the Dark Lord's room once again.

When you entered you had a quick and curt conversation with him and he gave you the list, the key, and the weightless bag. He reitterated what you needed to do but failed to give you a list of instructions (so you couldnt lose it and risk everyone fiding EVERYTHING out), so you had to remember it all by yourself. On the battered list of things he needed, there were the stores that you could get them from, and people that you needed to talk to to get certain items that were very restricted, even to the usual bottom dwellers that lurked far away from Diagon Alley, in the depths of Knockturn Alley.

After completing all of the treacherous things you had to go through to get to Hogsmeade, you finally arrived, a little disheveled from all the travelling but all in all, whole and thrilled to be away from that house. The only glitch in getting here was when you got to the doorman with the red diamond around his neck, you completely forgot what to say. You racked your brain.. what was it! When he refused to let you in because you didnt have the password you pulled out your wand and muttered a very powerful spell that you really hadnt had the cause to use it for quite some time. After kicking his writhing body to the side you opened the door revealing a large fireplace. Bingo.

You appeared to be in some sort of wand shop... this was definately not where you were supposed to be. The man that supposedly owned the shop looked at you strangely as you dusted the ashes off yourself and proceeded to walk out of his shop. Apparently most people chose to floo to a different part of Diagon alley. Now.. firstly.. what was it? Oh yes, Gringotts. You walked out of the store and with a chink of the bell on the door as it closed, you looked left and right. Too bad he hadnt given you a map, what did he think you were, some sort of compass? This is ridiculous. You could just ask someone.. but then there might be strange questions like, i 'Why dont you know where Gringotts is? I thought every Hogwarts student knew where it was! You do go to Hogwarts dont you? --no-- What, why not? Where do you go to school? --I dont.-- What why not? Are you some sort of criminal? --Uh...-- THERES A PRISONER ON THE LOOSE SOMEONE QUICK!' /i 

Okay, maybe it wouldnt end up like that, but you never knew, you had a right to be paranoid. You set off to the left, looking in each of the seperate shops... Quidditch... joke shop... Three Broomsticks.. ahh where was it? Oh.. look at that.. a bookstore. You walked into a quiet and cozy looking bookstore that was filled with children ranging from around 10 to 18 or so, most likely Hogwarts students off getting their supplies for the upcoming year. What a bunch of morons. Didn't they know they were all doomed anyways so what was the point of spending their precious money on schoolbooks and quills! The end was near! The war was already in the making! Fools! Scatter whilst you can! Okay, so maybe you were i too /i paranoid.

You walked over to a seemingly empty row of dusty books that looked like they had no business being in there in the first place. Your guess was noone would buy these books as they looked like they had been on these forgotten shelves for a hundred years. You picked up one of the more dusty versions but couldnt even read the title on the front because the book was in such disarray. You assumed that the bookkeeper would at least take better care of some of the books he was supposedly trying to sell, but apparently not. You turned around, realized you had already wasted enough time in this haven for schoolgoers, and it was hightime you found Gringotts when you stumbled over something quite solid and went crashing down to the floor landing flat on your face. This was getting out of hand, at this rate there was always going to be a bruise or something on your face. Apparently you were a little too danger-prone for your own good.

You looked down to see a frazzled bunch of brown hair that was obviously attatched to head. Although, it was so massive! How could anyone have so much hair and not have been swollowed whole by it by now! Wait a minute, this insolent idiot tripped you!

"You might want to be more careful on where you park yourself here frizzball" You muttered turning around and facing the young witch that was getting to her feet as well and brushing off her pleated skirt and looking dissheveled.

"Oh dear! I am so sorry, please let me help you! Are you hurt? I am so dreadfully sorry!" She said holding out a pale, slender hand "I'm Hermione Granger."

-----

You froze. The book that was dusty and torn up dropped from your hands. It seemed like an eternity before it finally hit the ground with a loud thud that seemed to echo strangely in your ears. Hermione. Hermione Granger. Hermione granger was standing in front of you. Hermione Granger just talked to you, and you're staring at her like a maniac. Hermione Granger should die. KILL HERMIONE GRANGER!

"I'm.. uhh. I'm.. leaving.. I.. I have to.. I ... I really need to.. " you muttered trying your hardest not to pull out your wand and hex her bushy little head into oblivion.

i Dont kill her, dont kill her. Get your hand off your wand.. Don't hex her. Dont do it... control yourself /i You repeated over and over again in your head like a mantra.

"I'm really sorry for running into you like that, I was just getting down to reach for a book you see, I'd read most of the ones on the higher shelves and I..."

"I .. you... you should really watch where you're going. You could have.. I need..."

"Are you okay? You look a little ill, do you want me to get someone to help you? You should sit down, what did you say your name was?" She asked, her eyes filled with concern. Oh such concern in her eyes! Wasted! She knew nothing of you, your past, your missdoings, and here she was lending a helping, caring hand to someone who wished nothing more than to cut her filthy mudblood head open and drain her of every last ounce of blood!

"I didnt." You stated, agitated. Oh it was so hard not to hex her. She was so close! The pain she had brought upon the deatheaters and the Dark lord! The pain which had then been inflicted upon you in all their rage and misplaced anger. So close, but mustnt be doing that... Azkaban didn't seem fun in the least, not from what you had heard Lucius telling the Dark lord, no, far from it.

"Oh, well, umm..." She frowned, you were being less than pleasant to say the least but she was obviously a go-getter. Oh how you loathed go-getter's.

"If you'll excuse me, I really need to be.. DONT TOUCH ME!" You said loudly through clenched teeth as Hermione laid a gentle hand on you because she thought you were feeling ill. Oh yes, you were feeling ill alright, a filthy mudblood had just touched you. A thousand sweltering showers couldnt wash away the filth she had just bestowed upon your forearm. You heard Hermione jump back in fright at your loud outburst. Your eyes dimmed as your turned a piercing gaze upon her. This? This person in front of you.. so brittle and breakable, had brought such pain to the Dark Lord! You could snap her in two! No.. mustnt be doing that.

Just then a person approached behind you while you were giving Hermione a look of utmost loathing and she held a slightly confused, frightened look at you. She was probably thinking i 'Oh bother, oh deary, oh my, whatever is this young lass raising her voice for! And in a bookstore! I'm so confused. La la la.' /i Even your imaginary version of her was pissing you off. The floor board beneath you gave a creak as the sound of a hoarse voice rang in your ears.

"What the bloody hell is all this screaming about Hermione, I thought you didnt think talking above a whisper was allowed in your home, I mean bookstore." Came the voice behind you. You wheeled around to see a head covered in longish bright red hair. He was at least a head taller than you, and he was by far one of the most gangly people you had ever had the displeasure of meeting. He looked oddly familiar, your eyes narrowed again...a Weasley. Your hand clamped around the wand in your robe pocket so hard you were in danger of breaking it in two. You shouldve known, where there was the bush head, there was the poor exucse for a pureblood, part of one of the biggest bloodtraitor families youve heard about. You were seething now, it wouldnt be long before you either hexed everyone, including the rest of the innocent bystanders in the store, into oblivion, or passed out from lack of oxygen from holding your breathe so long. It seemed you were holding your breath without even realizing it. If you didnt know better, you would have sworn your eyes were red and there was steam coming from your ears.

" I wasnt the one screaming i Ronald /i , it was /i her /i ." She said giving you a look of partial dislike. Apparently screaming in a bookstore was something she held worthy of sending to Azkaban. Which reminded you, DONT hex them or you'll get sent there.

"Why was she screaming?" he said, his face distorting into a confused look as he looked at Hermione deep in thought, completely failing to acknowlage you were there.

"Well I don't know Ron, why dont you ask her!" Hermione said in a highpitched voice.

"Dont start with me again Hermione, you dragged us into this ruddy store, and now you're getting all-"

"Well you're the one who wanted to drag i me /i into that Quidditch shop AGAIN! Why dont you for once just think about someone besides yourself hmm?" She said whispering loudly as to not...wake the books?

"There you go again, calling me selfish! Who got you those new earrings for the new year coming up hmm? Who.. who got you.. who's a..." Ron blubbered on.

"Oh good one Ron, very nice, you're getting better every day! Why can't you just admit that I -"

"WILL YOU TWO SHUT UP?" Came a third voice, rounding behind Hermione, on the opposite side of the shelf that Ron entered from. A young man of about 16 or so looked upon the scene, slightly amused and slightly agitated. He looked weary and plagued. His messy brown hair fell lightly onto his forehead ad some lay on his round glasses. He brushed his hair aside in a quick stroke.

"You two are fighting whereever we go! Can you just give it a rest? Please?" He pleaded with them, but you tuned out. This was getting too much. The entire dreamteam was standing before you, with Potter, the ringleader, in tow. I Someone pinch me /i you thought as you watched in rapture at the young, lightly complected young man in front of you. Rapture at the thought of here, right here! Right now! In front of you, lay the three most saught after students by Death Eaters and the Dark Lord alike! Right in a row, and here you were, being completely ignored. The person who would surely have the pleasure of ripping all of their heads off... The thoughtful, reasonable side of you was thrown completely out the window when Harry Potter had stepped into the scene. You clutched your wand even more tightly than before, if that was possible, and stepped towards him slowly, quietly, as to not alert him to your presense while he was bickering with Hermione and Ron over their constant quarreling. The floor board squeeked loudly and they all stopped and looked at you.

"Who's she?" Harry asked Ron, motioning to you with his thumb. You looked around... this was no time for stupid questions. Ron shrugged.

"I dunno... She was here when I got here when Hermione started jumping down my throat about-"

"I was not 'jumping' Ronald! I was merely-"

"WILL YOU TWO SHUT UP!" You were the one to yell this time. They fell silent, looking taken aback. Hermione and Ron started whispering to each other and Harry grinned.

"Youve seemed to have noticed.. they're always fighting.. I cant seem to-" You couldnt take it anymore. Harry Potter was mere feet away from you. You should be at Gringotts getting your money and getting on to Knockturn Alley.. but face it! What better chance would you ever get than now! You readied yourself and launched yourself upon him, catching him off guard and knocking him to the ground. He thrashed about, completely confused and unable to breathe well. You punched him in the face as hard as you could and brought your wand out and jabbed it roughly in his neck and grabbed a fistful of his hair with your other hand that was holding the wand. You were just about to scream 'the' curse when Hermione and Ron hurled themselves on you, causing the bookshelf to your immediate left to shake and wobble precariously on its edge, so very close to getting knocked over. Obviously you didnt think this out quite too well. Just as they were pushing and shoving you felt a large hand grasp your shoulder and lift you completely up. Hermione and Ron were so busy taking care of Harry and asking him what had caused you to do such a thing that they didnt notice you and the other person rush out of the shop and into a dark alley way where you apparated back to the house you could scarcely call a home.

"You are in tttrrrouubblleee" you heard the voice of the person who was holding you snicker as he stopped holding you so tightly but still managed to cling on as he dragged you the room you had no inclination to go to. Alas, it was inevitable.

"Let me go Malfoy!" You screamed as you tugged his arm away from you and he continued to chuckle darkly.

"Go run to your father Draco, thats all you're good for anyway" you growled as you walked the rest of your way to the Dark Lord's room, rubbing the spot on your arm where he had grabbed you harshly. If he hadnt came, you could have surely done some major damage, you had a right mind to blow him to smithereens as well. However, you knew the Dark Lord wouldn't be too happy about what you had done, seeing as though you could have jeapordized everyone finding out the Death Eaters were getting stronger and weren't afraid to attack out in the open. Whoops... but hey, it wasnt your fault persay, he was just so damn close, you lost control.

You opened the serpent-handled door to find the room chilly and drafty, and the chair was turned towards the fire.

"Have a little fun today, Raine? WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!" The voice got louder but the chair didn't turn. He wouldnt admit it but you knew he didn't like to show his snakelike face unless it was absolutely neccessary.

"HE WAS RIGHT THERE! You would have done the same thing!" You roared pointing an accusing finger in his direction, but he wasnt facing you so he didn't see it.

"I wouldn't have been in Diagon Alley, in a bookstore, that you werent supposed to be in in the first place. What you did could have ...you...the biggest threat to me and the Death Eaters alike! It would be one thing telling someone in that retched Order but to attack Harry Potter out in the open? Raine! Where was your reasoning! You attacked him in the middle of a crowded, wizard-infested bookstore! Do you have no tact?" He was talking somewhat quietly but the tone of his voice made you tremble slightly. This was the second time someone had called your tactless... i note to self: Stop being so tactless. /i 

"I.. I ... I didn't think. I'm sorry, he was just right there and he has put us all through such torment and distress that I guess I just snapped. I.."

"Well you know you will have to be punished again, but also, I think I may be formulating a plan that you could be able to execute, as long as you dont screw up again. Go find Wormtail, he will be aware of your punishment. Leave me, I need to think this out, mustnt be having a half concocted scheme now..."

"Yes sir..." You said as you backed out of the room quickly. Well that hadnt actually been too bad.. Wormtail was going to issue your penalty, you could beat him to a pulp before he could even whisper 'pain'. Ha! The bad thing about being on the Dark Lord's side was that you could not only NOT trust the enemy, but you couldnt trust the people on your own side as well. Now, Wormtail you could handle... the only question left was... what was the Dark Lord plotting?


	4. Chapter Four

---------------------------

Two or Three days passed, you were never quiet certain, because you rarely even left the house and that was only when you had to ...

However, this time was different, because you werent sent on any kind of jobs... probably because noone trusted you to control yourself anymore.

You doubted they, meaning the Death Eaters, would ever let you out of their sight again, with the little stunt you pulled a few days ago in Diagon Alley. After Wormtail had been sufficently beaten, even though it was supposed to be you who was getting punished, you settled into your room and only left for a shower or to eat. After being holed up in your room for hours on end, you were trying to think of the reason Malfoy had taken you up and brought you back to this retched place. No doubt he had been off looking for school supplies, as the new Hogwarts school year would be starting up in just a few short weeks... but why had he pulled you off him? He surely hated Harry Potter as much as you if not more... This thought had caused you to be tossing and turning until you finally came upon a conclusion. Malfoy knew of your new mission, most likely from his father whom the Dark Lord relayed upon him, and Draco had shown up to spy on you to hope you would fail, as then he would be the favorite child of the Death Eaters. He probably saw you wander into the bookstore, knowing full and well that you werent supposed to be in there and watched the whole commotion take place. When he realized this could not only be putting everyone including his father in danger, but also, if he stopped these activities (meaning you beating Harry to a pulp), he would be praised for protecting further dark activities, and also protecting the Dark Lord himself. So, in a sense, Malfoy was trying to get in with the Dark Lord and watch you fail at the same time, no wonder he had been walking around the mansion with such a smug smile on his face all the time. But then again, that was what he always looked like.

You hadn't heard any activities going on since the 'adventure'. Not even a word from the Dark Lord who for all you knew, was still holed up in his room, thinking. Thinking.. but about what? You thought, deliberated, and mulled over the situation.. he had said he had a plan for you... as long as you didn't screw it up.. but what could have caused him to think of this supposed plan, and why did it involve you. This not only had your head hurting from thinking about the same thing for hours, but also had you worried and you felt little butterflies, or maybe small birds, in your stomach at the mere thought of it. Whatever 'The plan' was, it was probably going to be either physically or mentally scarring... as this was with most of his plans.

In fact, he had been a little too quiet; and sinister people, full of dark magic, didn't stay quiet for long. Now that you thought about it, the only time the people on the Dark Lord's side were quiet, was when they were either plotting, or in Azkaban and now that the Dementors were on his side, fewer death eaters were being put there, so it was usually plotting that made them quiet.

You were so bored, but afraid to venture out of your room, in fear of getting wound up in the dark lord's plan, afraid of being talked to, controlled, sent out to do everyone's bidding. You wished you could remember your real family, full of color, life, happiness... That was what you envisioned anyway, there was no way of knowing what they were actually like. Was is so bad here that you were no longer happy? Yes... but why? There was noone here your age, save Draco, and occasionally Crabbe, Goyle, and that Pansy girl. There were a few more but those were the ones you saw most of the time. Draco was never easy to get along with, not when he always thought himself superior, it was one thing to think you were better than the Mudbloods, but to think he was better than yourself? Sorry, I think not.

You decided to look through some of your old diary entries, back when you were couped up like you are now, like an animal, or a person with a terminal disease... or perhaps a criminal. You pulled out the diary that was located in a box, that was inside another box, which was inside yet another box, which was in the secret drawer in your bedside table. You had to go around picking up different keys cleverly hidden around your room, to open each seperate box because you wouldn't, no couldn't let anyone find out what was inside. After all, everyone has their secrets... some more than others. The book was so tiny it could fit on your finger tip, magically downsized so it could fit inside all of the small boxes.

"Engorgio" you whispered and the book became larger, hand sized. You snuggled under your blanket and opened to a random page.

_June 27th_

_Why are mudbloods worse than purebloods? Does it have something to do with how strong they are? Are they weak? Am I weak for asking?_

_June 28th_

_No, I dont think I am. _

_July 2nd_

_Maybe it's because they are less intelligent, less physically attractive, physically inclined to do nothing weak, weak-minded..._

_July 3rd_

_Have I been fed lies? Am I a lie? Am I lying to myself right now? How about now..? So confused... must find Betty._

_July 16th_

_Am I playing a role...the role that I've been playing my whole life? Since I got here...? So many questions left unanswered, where to even begin...What role am I playing, if in fact I am playing one.. why am I playing it in the first place? If this is how I am when I'm playing a role.. how am I really like? Do I want to know? Let me think it over._

_July 20th_

_I think I've come to a conclusion. If we didnt play roles we would not exist. The situations we are put in make us, we dont make them... we change with what happens to us, and we put on a different face, a mask, underneath we are nothing but a blank sheet, nothing; And whilst everything around us is changing, thats why we are never nothing, because we constantly change, because change is constant. _

_July 21st _

_That still didn't answer my question. What role am I playing right now? And what's for dinner...now theres a question..._

You kept reading; it was like you just wrote this yesterday, it was so fresh in your mind...

_July 29th_

_I killed another today. If people weren't so incompetant, they would learn to just accept their fate and join us. Why would someone choose death over living? Is it possible that there are things worse than death? No. I refuse to beleive it. I have to go wash all this blood off my hands._

_August 4th_

_Maybe there are things worse than death.. Would I rather die.. or be subjected to torture for long periods of time.. would I rather die or listen to that retched music Draco listens to, for eternity... Maybe death isn't so bad. Maybe I'm just putting people out of their misery so they wont have to make the retched choice of choosing between death and becoming a Death Eater. Then again, I was the one who put them in the situation to chose in the first place...hmm. Oh yes, and Lucius beat me up. Bastard. _

_August 7th_

_That's ironic, becoming a death eater makes you kill people, and that was what I was doing if they wouldnt join. Why would the Dark Lord want to kill for a living anyway? And why Muggles and Mudbloods... why am I any better! I could be a Mudblood for all I know.. oh no, now I feel sick.. ahhh..._

_August 11th_

_I am now almost positive that there are things worse than death, so if the Dark Lord likes seeing people suffer so much, why cant he realize this? Why do I even care. I am also still questioning why purebloods are better than muggleborns. Did I just write muggleborns? I meant Mudbloods. _

And here you were now, that was the last entry you had written, it was now August 15th. You wondered why you hadnt written whilst you had been locked up here for so long. And so, you begin to write.

_August 15th_

_So I ran into Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, and that stupid Ron Weasley a couple days ago. No, I'm not kidding. I tried to beat him up and hex him into oblivion but Draco pulled me off him and brought me back to this hell hole. The Dark Lord is plotting, and here I am writing in this diary. Am I that pathetic? Yes, yes I am. Oh yea, and I beat up Pettigrew... hahahahaha. _

That seemed good enough, you didn' t want to go into too much detail, after all, if you started reading it later on you might rip it to shreds and burn it, hoping to completely forget what happened there. You shrank the diary, put it in each seperate box, befor locking the previous box. You placed it back in the secret drawer and went around the room hiding each key. You were just on the last key when the door opened revealing...

"Pansy!" You screeched at her. She smirked and came in and sat on your bed.

"Hey, just thought I'd come in for a visit, father is out there talking to Lucius and Coran. Something about activities in Bangkok... So.. why are you sitting in your room on such a nice day? Oh.. sorry. " she stated, looking down as if ashamed. You knew she was't ashamed though, she had been brought up without the word ashamed in her vocabulary. It was nice that she was trying though... you supposed.

"Right, anyways. So why are YOU here if your parents are the ones doing business?" You asked her, though you already knew the answer.

"Just here to see Draco, his birthday was a week ago, and I was with my mother on ... business. So I came by to give my hunny bunny his present."

"What did you give him?" You inquired, thankful that you could talk to someone, Pansy wasnt that bad, not bad at all compared to all the other goons that trekked through this house.

"Me!" she stated happily. You groaned inwardly, trying to hide your disgust.

Pansy eventually left and you were just laying on your bed, staring at the ceiling when your stomach growled loudly. You hadnt eaten since breakfast and it was nearing 6 o clock. You hadn't been moving much since you had been in there and your metabolism must have just completely stopped moving or something, because you forgot completely about food, but here you were being reminded... rather loudly, by your empty stomach.

You got up and made your way to the dining room, where to your surprise, noone was seated, even Betty was nowhere in sight. You ate slowly, things were still on the table from where the others had eaten earlier. You started wondering where everyone was... after all, this was usually the time when everyone was bustling about. Their absense seemed strangly sinister to you.

When you were finished you were making your back to your room when Wormtail ran up to you, seemingly from nowhere and announced that you were wanted in the Dark Lord's room. You hadnt been in that forsaken room so much since ... ever. It amused you that half of his face had a purple tinge to it ad knowing that you had caused it made you shudder with glee. You made your way towards _his _room, all the while in deep thought. You had been wishing, hoping that they would tell you that you had to go and get another person to join them or kill them if they refused, you associated death with happiness because every time you were out of the house you were happy, but when you were out of the house, it meant you would have to possibly kill. Death was not supposed to mean happiness was it? Sure it was, everyone around here thought so, so you were certain that most people in the world did too.. right?

You grasped the silver serpent ad pushed your way into the room. You were greeted only by the crackling fire that never seemed to be out. The Dark Lord was sitting next to it with a thin blanket over him that bared the Dark Mark. You remembered him asking about you getting the Dark Mark. You had refused but you had to come up with a good reason as to why you didnt want it burned, nay, branded into your forearm. You told him that since noone knew of your existance in the first place, you could do jobs later on in complete secrecy without the danger of being found as a deatheater by the symbol sketched in your forearm. He seemed skeptical but he allowed it...for the time being. You were pulled out of your thought quite abrubtly when the Dark Lord said something you never thought it would say.

"Raine, you're going to Hogwarts"

"IM WHAT! NO!"

---------


	5. Chapter Five

thankyou goes out to loneicedragon for my ONE review.. ha shes gonna keep me going and hopefully keeps reading it, tell me why its confusing? (if youwanna) but anyways, clap clap for her! now, on with the story.

Secrecy defined him, solace ignored him, followers rejoiced him, enemies denied him. But you? You did all of the above, but one emotion in particular was radiating off of you in his general direction and that was confusion. You must have misunderstood him, simple as that.

"You're joking right?" you asked him, now beginning to laugh. He had seriously scared you for a couple minutes. The Dark Lord was never one to joke and you knew this for a fact, but the thought that he had just been merely pulling your leg made it seem slightly plausible. But then you were left with the fact that the Dark Lord was more likely to literally pull your leg off than be joking around. This thought was not comforting in the least. You mouth was beginning to feel like plaster, and it was hard to swallow. You opened your mouth to say something but all that came out was hot air. You closed your mouth and tried to open it once more but you were still left speechless which was something that was relatiely hard to do, seeing as though you were Raine -- witty and catty to the bone. When you were about ready to try speaking for the third time, he spoke instead.

"No, you should know by now that I..dont... joke. You will be leaving in two weeks, September the first so I expect you to be ready at 8 o clock that morning. You will travel with Lucius and his son Draco and the Parkinson girl to the Kings Cross Station. Am I clear?" he said, never letting his eyes drop from the fire.

"I'm afriad you arent being clear, my Lord" You said as politely and as servile as you could, hoping the cracks in your voice were not evident of the fear and confusion you felt. "I dont understand why you are sending me there... is this punishment for Diagon Alley? Please sir, don't do this!" you pleaded, starting to get desperate.

"Ah Raine, do you think I would subject you to that fool, Dumbledore's. teaching for nothing? No no, this is all part of a grand scheme. You will go to Hogwarts this year and 'learn'. Since you already know everything, and then some, in the area of the Dark Arts, you will be watching something very closely for me. Very closely indeed."

"Dont say it..."

"Harry Potter... he slipped through my grasp mere months ago in the Department of Mysteries. Not only did he get away but now the whole wizarding world knows of my rebirth! He has ruined me yet again... but this time, no, we will have someone on the inside.. deep within 'the safest place'... Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry!" He let out a mirthless laugh.. one that you had heard so many times but still cringed whenever you heard it.

"But why me?" you asked him truthfully, for you couldn't fathom why on Earth you had to be submitted to such torture as to going there and watching that piece of scum.

"Why? Well think Raine, who else would I choose, Draco, Pansy, Crabbe, Goyle, Artemis, Sahvana... they all already go to Hogwarts, you are the only one who has remained here. Plus, you can be molded, since noone yet knows of your existence, you can be anything I want you to be... anything at all. You have no last name, you have no parents, you have nothing, no life. Your past has defined you up until now, because the future seems bleak does it not?" he asked you quietly.

"Yes. But how am I supposed to just go to Hogwarts... I cant just show up and start going to classes when I didn't start there from year one. Have you thought that out yet? Because I honestly have no idea how I'm going to be able to show up and be like 'Hey Dumbledore, my boss wants to destroy your entire school but... can I go to school here?' I dont even have a last name.." you trailed off lamely.

"Ah, but that is where you are mistaken. You do have a last name... Miss Parkinson."

"What? I don't understand."

"You are now Miss Parkinson's sister, you have attended Durmstrang for the past 5 years, but with the war approaching your mother thought it best for you to be at Hogwarts because of... _Dumbledore..._" he said the last word with disdain. "You have been going to Durmstrang because you favored the location and to earn a reputable existance there while Miss Pansy Parkinson earned one at Hogwarts, however now your mother saw it fitting to wait until the war is over for such matters. Which beleive me when I say, it will be over soon."

"Do you really think Dumbledore will buy that?"

"As a matter of fact, I do, the old loon will beleive anything, mudblood and halfbreeds alike. If he does sense something is amiss, we can pull you out before he knows anything of true importance."

"Genius sir, even if I do have to be the one with these unpleasantries, but at least I get my feet in the water, no?"

"Yes, we shall discuss this matter further tomorrow, this coversation has taken a toll on me...leave me"

"Yes sir..." And with that you left quietly as to not alert anyone, particularly Malfoy (either of them), to your presense.

You were respectful, mindful, polite and all other things you should have been whilst in the room with him. However, now that you were in the sanctity of your room, you cast a silencing spell on your door and screamed and thrashed about. Picking up a black gleaming lamp, you chucked it as hard as you could where it smashed against the wall into innumerable shards and fell onto the floor gleaming with the light the moonlight cast through your one window. Angry sobs of protest would have been heard from your room all night had the silencing charm not been there. The lamp was fixed with a simple flick of your wand and everything else you had broken lay where it once was.. in one piece; unbeknownst to anyone else that they had once been severely torn and broken, a secret that lay undiscovered.

Betty walked in around 9 asking you what kind of breakfast you wanted served that day. Instead of answering you picked up the newly put-together lamp and bashed her head with it causing her to topple out of sight near the foot of your bed on top of the re-broken shards of black glass. Even knocking Betty out did very little to improve your mood. You thought, perhaps, that it was all a nightmare... but the memories were far too real to be but a dream. Your suspisions that the Dark Lord sending you to Hogwarts was just an illusion were smashed when he asked you to meet up with him around noon. He explained how you would take note of anything that seemed of importance in what Harry or his friends did. Even if the things seemed strangely unimportant, you would report to Draco or Miss Parkinson who will relay it to Lucius, who will relay it to the Dark Lord. This is how the Dark Lord planned on finding another weakness of Harry's to use to his ultimate destruction in the very near future.

"You could bring pride to your name" he had said... but you thought that if you had the choice between dying and going toHogwarts, death seemed like a sweet release for a moment. But you decided that he would probably find some way of bringing you back to life just to kill you again for doing something like that. You were trapped. If you didn't do it, you would die; if you followed through with it, you would end up in a place full of the people you hated the most and would surely die after a while anyway. Life for a little while seemed like the best option because if you pulled through, miraculously, you would be awarded and praised for years to come, people would hail you as well as the Dark Lord for aiding in the untimely death of the almighty boy-who-would-not-die. You were now resigned to your fate. The Dark Lord had Mrs. Parkinson, Patricia -- Pansy's mother,send a letter to Dumbledore explaining all about her eldest daughter, a mere 10 months older than Pansy, which made her in the same grade as Pansy. The very detailed letter was sent on the 22nd, and Dumbledore's letter came back a mere 2 days later signed saying that it woud be splendid if more children made their journey through Hogwarts in this tragic time of.. blah blah blah, and list of the things you would need for 6th year students. The point was, you were going to Hogwarts to spy on the one and only Harry James Potter, and there was nothing you could do about it. As soon as you found anything the was of importance to him, you would be discharged from that cruel world and back with the people that you hated, but not as much.

On the 29th of August, Draco came strolling into your room looking smug as always, carrying bags of things that he got from Diagon Alley. They didn't trust you to be in Diagon alley again what with the disruption you caused the last time you were there. You were concerned that once Harry, Hermione, and Ron saw you at Hogwarts, they would go straight to Dumbledore and tell them that you were the girl that attacked him in Diagon Alley, but the Dark Lord explained that Potter probably had a short term memory or was still mourning the 'tragic' loss of his godfather, Sirius Black, to notice the face of his attacker. You could only hope. Malfoy made it obvious how all the things he had gotten you were for 6th years but that he himself had gotten things far more advanced.. yada yada; you knew it was all talk. The only thing he could not get for you was a wand, but that was okay since you already had one... but he still explained had to be there in person to get a wand that was made for you. After all it is the wand that chooses the person, not the other way around - he continued explaining this even though you; A. already knew and B. Already had a wand. The Dark Lord had a man named Avery explain to you that a foreign wand maker from Albania would be coming to inspect your wand just in case of malfuctions and such, he couldn't be having some man named Ollivander examining it, what with the Dark Magic that surely surrounded it.

On August 31st, the day before you would be leaving with Draco and Pansy to the Kings Cross station, a stout, and rather hairy man made an appearance in the manor. You watched from your doorway with a sneer on your face as he shook hands with Lucius and kissed Narcissa's slender hand. She laughed politely and Lucius's chin twitched. It was almost comical how all of them continued to exchange these plesantries when every single one of them knew they despised each other, save Lucius and Narcissa. The foreign man caught sight of you and motioned you over, you just stared blankly at him... who was he to tell you what to do? But when Lucius pulled his wand very subtly out of his pocked for only you to see, you cringed and walked over, not entirely in your best mood. The man introduced himself as Bashkim Kostandin, who was a very saught after wand maker in Northern Albania. He made you pull out your wand as he inspected it, muttering all the while 'Venom of a Basilisk, 9 inches...' and sent a purple lightning bolt out of the tip and deemed it worthy of use. Thankful to have your own wand back in your possesion, you nodded curtly to the small man, glared at Lucius, and made your way back to your room to continue your packing, cringing everytime you thought of the dreadful place you would be in 24 hours time. One can only hope that you didn't suffer too much whilst you were keeping a watchful eye on the golden trio, after all, what could be worse?

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As for the 6th Harry Potter book, im going to have to make them in 7th year so she's 17 and they're going into 7th year! I'm going to go back and change the other ones when I get the chance, so when they start talking about heads of houses, its fine because they're in 7th year! Also, thanks to all my reviewers! You're what keeps me going... as for disclaimers, its not mine, though if it was I would own a purple hippo. Now, on with the story!

oh wait. also, i wrote this before the 6th book so like...pretend it didnt happen.


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